Amongst all of the Bleach fans people are speculating WTH with this filler- everyone accept me, because I KNOW.
Unfortunately NONE of the stupid bastards believe that my theory could be even remotely correct. Really, that's just stupid. My theory is the ONLY one that makes sense. Thus, I bet my porn collection-and I NEVER risk my porn.

What will I win once proven right? Bragging rights of coarse, I need nothing more.

..and why I;m even bothering to post here.

It's obvious that no one, not my so called 'friends' give a shit.

Yesterday the most amazing thing happened. Words I never even imagine I would hear from my Grandmother. With such significance that it actually destroyed a good chunk of my reason for being angry with people.
I felt so happy, so great. Until I decided to tell my friends. I should have known better. I REALLY should have. None of them could even take two seconds to say " I'm happy for you" and then the anger returned.
Don't EVER ask me why I'm "so pissed off' again, unless you truly want to know.
Kuchi de Jigokuda. Temetachi.

But this is the reaction ( or lack there of) I always get from EVERYONE yet when they have something insignificant to say everyone drops what they're saying and listens.

Good god what I wouldn't pay for someone to explain just what the hell it is about me that turns people into such dick wads. I really would.

..of listening to everyone else s whining. I wouldn't mind if I were aloud to do so once in a while myself-
about how I will never ever be able to have enough money, no matter what I do. About how it's inevitable that I'll eventually have to move back in with my Mother like some lazy and unambitious nerd, where I wont be able to see my so called 'friends' or go to school anymore.
About the fact that as much I'd like to I can't just keep ignoring certain health-issues. I either chance-fixing it now and have 50% chance of making it worse and being unable to walk at all or ignoring it and having a 100% chance of the same later.
I decided that if I was indeed going to die by 40 or so that I'd just run myself into the ground and allow my injuries to pile up to the point that they couldn't be fixed by that time when it matter, (rather than consistently patching up wounds that it'd be re-injured later) But no, you bastards wont even let me to do that.
-About having the mother fucking government in my business all the fucking time. The fact that if I want the medication I need to uh LIVE I have to kiss ass to a bunch of ass-holic researchers who don't give a flying fuck about anything but their fuckng grant money, About how no matter how fucking hard I try to 'suck it up' my Grandmother calls every fucking day to remind me how bad things are-and that I'm 'weak' and 'don't understand that I'm gonna die if I keep being so reckless ect ect"
I WISH I had so few problems in my life that I could waste energy 'flailing' over having to have my cosplay costumes finished. Or hell, that I COULD work on my own cosplay shit, rather than relying on the unreliable people because they wont fucking TEACH me how to do it myself. Either because they're too lazy or think IM to fucking stupid to learn.
I wish that I HAD an outlet when I need one.
Most of all about my fucking self-absorbed 'friends' don't give two shits when I finally want to say something. ( Usually I just shove it all down where it can fester like a mental illness-Fiturama FTW)

I swear to God that if I have to hear Panda's bitching about how he's 'so stressed and needs to heat things with sticks" I'm going to lose it. And you know what? My 'friends' still will not take me seriously. They'll just look at me like I'm a fucking child and ask " What the hell is YOUR problem? It isn't like you have to do deal with all MY stress"
(Of having to chose whether to buy the Wii or a new Xbox game?)

What? Do I have to fucking cry about it for people to understand? I wont. As much as I hate 50's musicals "...that's the worst thing I could do"


...I Honestly have no idea what to do anymore. I can't FORCE people to understand, and I'll just keep getting angrier and angrier. Unfortunately, I'm too weak will to just stop hanging out with them, even if I did, it wont solve anything and probably be the same with any new friends I make. *Siiiiiiigh*

So I'm sitting here in my history class, with a fucking MIGRAINE because the human brain was NOT meant to hold 2000 years of history from every prolific ..oh god I can't even think of the word...uh..civilization on the planet.

But I really do enjoy it. I wish I could focus all of my attention on this class, it's really the only way to study History.

*Pouts* Everybody go away! *locks self in large closet* I'm not coming out till I've completed my Major!!
...umm could someone bring me my books??


FYI- right now were discussing a painting from Heronimous Bosch with people being cut open, and crucified on harps and the oh so happy people having flowers growing out of thier asses.

I left my Phone with Jaime Sat.

Paul told me my grandmother had called him but he didn't answer it ( Cuz he's a jackass)

I called her back and she flipped out " We were soo worried about you! We were gonna the police! We called your friends and the apartment office!"

Jaime told her that she HAD MY PHONE ( Hi 2+2?) but she argued that I usually use a payphone in that case.

Okay, that is true. I didn't this time because very single-goddamned time I have spoken to her in the past three months all shes done is remind me how badly life sucks right now.

Shortly after I got home my friend came buy telling me that Jaime called looking for me. Then pointed out " Oh there's a note in the door" Sure enough, it was from the office ladies telling me my grandmothers was looking for me!

Jeesus-tap dancing-Christ! Do they actually think I'm THAT weak that they need to keep checking on me!? I am a grown woman with my own LIFE GODDAMNIT!!

In a VERY surprising turn of event's the only good news came from Lisa who had been telling everyone " STFU. She's fine " Her only reasoning being " because she's big sister" ( never calls me by name.It's cute, really)

Seriously fucking morons! *grumble rant grumble*