( No this doesn't count as 'two posts in one day' because it's merely 'dream recording' it doesn't count.)

Last night I was very close to winning L5R. Adrian was just about to destroy my last province. I could have stalled and hope for a while.

I instead raised my honor to 40 ( Crane win at 40 hr, but only at the beginning of they're turn)
A bystander commented " Damn, now that's pride!"

I was tolled there are three new personalities for the Crane that may help. They are very strong but with 0 hr and even decrees total hr.

I said I would never play them because of they're lack of honor. The same bystander commented " Don't know if that's pride or just fucking stupid "

That's why I had the following dream-

I was in the L5R world. High ranking in the crane Clan. I was there when the new personalities were recruited. I argued against it, but was overruled. I left, deciding that I would destroy the Crane clan before they did so themselves.

Of coarse, I had to contend with ALL the other clans and on the way was saved by various warriors who wanted to join me. One of which was one of the new Crane recruits.
I turned them all down because they were 'dishonorable'.
Later, I was attacked by filthy Crab who told me I was foolish for giving up great warriors and the chance to 'ya know, not die"

I told him he was a filthy Crab who could never understand 'honor'.

He laughed "You betryed your own Clan! How can you speak of honor? No, my dear you are confusing honor for pride. Both are dangerous in excess.."

Then I got shanked.

"...and now you have neither"

Owned by the wisdom of a Crab..that hurt.

I left my Phone with Jaime Sat.

Paul told me my grandmother had called him but he didn't answer it ( Cuz he's a jackass)

I called her back and she flipped out " We were soo worried about you! We were gonna the police! We called your friends and the apartment office!"

Jaime told her that she HAD MY PHONE ( Hi 2+2?) but she argued that I usually use a payphone in that case.

Okay, that is true. I didn't this time because very single-goddamned time I have spoken to her in the past three months all shes done is remind me how badly life sucks right now.

Shortly after I got home my friend came buy telling me that Jaime called looking for me. Then pointed out " Oh there's a note in the door" Sure enough, it was from the office ladies telling me my grandmothers was looking for me!

Jeesus-tap dancing-Christ! Do they actually think I'm THAT weak that they need to keep checking on me!? I am a grown woman with my own LIFE GODDAMNIT!!

In a VERY surprising turn of event's the only good news came from Lisa who had been telling everyone " STFU. She's fine " Her only reasoning being " because she's big sister" ( never calls me by name.It's cute, really)

Seriously fucking morons! *grumble rant grumble*

When it first came out i asked " What is about?"

And the answer was a compltely asinine bitch fight over whether Renji or ichgio is morei important to her. I was honestly hoping they all kill each other

I saw it last night --

At first she couldn't remember either of them. After much yelling and preaching she does
( Renj first of coarse) BUT when she turns into a crazy monster she forgets again and tries to kill them both.

Then Byakuya shows up and she immediately recognizes him ( without anyone yelling at her) as "Nii-sama" and can't attack him.

You gahs, I LOL'D SOO Mother fucking hard. Stupid fucking fangirls.

On that note- The chapter last week-it was so beautiful that I nearly fell to my knees and cried. It were as though some benovolent force was telling me that there was no reason to be afraid anymore.

Adrian asked my if it has just been school and it's required "one novel + a paper every week" that was taking up all my free time" I explained that was half that and half my 'Government appointments" I tried to explain simply, but, like every other jackass I know she acted as if I was full of shit.

First of all, anyone who even begins to think so does not me well enough to be called a 'friend".
Why the fuck would I WANT to be a total LOSER? I have this thing called "pride" quite a bit, really. I know that it's a foreign concept to most ( especially when it's V free money) and I can forgive people for that.
What I won't forgive is these people who assume that because THEY don't understand it, it must be a lie.
If you can't understand then just accept me for who I fucking-am and don't you dare insult me by assuming I'[m no better than your pitiful selves.

I WANT to have a full time job. I want to make my OWN money with my OWN skills without having the god damned government looking over my shoulder, telling me how much I'm allowed to have and what I can spend it on.

Now here's the simple truth- I'm GOING to run myself into the ground, eventually. That has always been the plan, but I'd like that to be later than sooner. IF I do in fact attempt a full time job I'm going to shatter myself into pieces much, much quicker. ( Why the fuck do you think I'm as messed up as I am?)
Hell, as much as it hurts to admit it, I break myself doing NOTHING.

To anyone who doubts my motives all I have to say is-I hope that you seriously injure yourself on the job and everyone tells you that there's nothing wrong with you, except when it comes when to doing what you WANT to do like sports/martial art's ect.

That is all-thank you.

Edit: Yumi, since you were concerned about my LJ post;I want you to know you are NOT guilty of this. You may do some things that annoy me, but you have always been so understanding on this issue that I ..kind of see you as a little sister and will be around no matter what else you may do to annoy me. There. I said it. That wasn't so hard.. ;>_>

Cure for insomnia

This was fun:

RULES
? You must fill out EVERY question! No skipping!
? Tag five people afterward.
? Leave a message on their page telling them they're tagged.

ARE YOU?
1. Perfect? Nope
2. Tall? No
3. In your pajamas? Tch, Im still weaing shoes..why the hell AM I??
4. Left handed? Mostly right

LAST:
1. Friend you saw? Adrian
2. Talked to on the phone? Grandparents
3. Person to text you: Kris (In missouri
4. Was today better than yesterday? Hm..yes

FAVORITES:
1. Number: 6 and 12
2. Color(s): White
3. Fruit: Banana
4. Place: Wherever I go there I am

EIGHT EMOTIONS:
1. Are you missing someone right now? ..nope
2. Are you happy? Yes
3. Are you sad? No
4. Are you bored? I wouldnt be doing this otehrwise
6. Are you nervous? No
8. Are you tired? Vodka tends to have that effect

ABOUT YOU:
1. Real name? Not telling
2. Nick names? Kaze, kazi ( mispronouciation that stuck)
3. Eye color? Green
4. Zodiac sign? Gemini
5. Male or female? Female
6. Slut? AHAHAHA closer to the 40 year old virgin
7. Smart? Yes
8. Hair color? Black
9. Long or short? Long
10. Sweats or Jeans? Both are harldey classy but sweats I will not be caught DEAD in
11. Phone or Camera? Phone
12. Drink or Smoke? Oh, hallo thar Vodka slurpee
14. Righty or lefty? Already asked thus genius

FIRSTS:
1. First best friend? Paul
2. first crush? Like I can remember
3. First pet? Casiopia German Shepard
4. First big vacation? Pff...Disney land I think?? Yes.

CURRENTLY:
1. Eating? Nothing
2. Drinking? Vodka slurpee
3. I'm about to: Answer teh next question
4. Listening to? Ulquiorra song
5. Plans for today? a bit late

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
1. Shorter or taller? than what?
2. Romantic or spontaneous? No
3. Sensitive or loud? Both suck
4. Hook-up or relationship? If I HAD to chose..hookup

HAVE YOU EVER:
1. Drank bubbles? Yah
2. Lost glasses/contacts? Broken
3. Ran away from home? Nope
4. Broken someone's heart? More like crushed. I hope it hurt.
5. Been arrested? Nope

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
1. Miracles? No
2. Yourself? I cant be certain there is anything else
3. Heaven? No, Id like to though
4. Santa Claus? The idea, or his phsyical existance?
5. Love? as in a generic feeling for soemone/soemthing yes.
6. Do you like someone? I like a lot of people
7. Do you believe in God? I belive in me
8. Answered the truth on all questions? Yes

Q: What was the first thing you did this morning when you got up?
A: Put on clothes

Q: Do you have anything bothering you?
A: Yes

Q: What's the last movie you saw?
A: harry fucking potter. Paul refused to change teh channell. I hoenstly CANNOT see why its so popular.

Q: Where is the last place you went?
A: 7-11

Q. Do you smile a lot?
A: Only if im laugh, but i do laugh a lot

Q: Do you wish upon stars?
A: No. One day it will cease to exist, Then what?

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: Dunno

Q: Where did you sleep last night?
A: My 'bed' giant fluffy mat

Q: When was the last time you cried?
A: Hmm..cant remember

Q: What was your last thought before going to sleep last night?
A:..it was probabaly about porn

Q: Rate life as of right now one being bad ten being great?
A: 4
Q: What do you hear right now?
A: Music.
Q: Does anything hurt right now reason.
A: My head, my neck,my knee. Because I 'oorly constructed'.

Q: What's your favorite month?
A: This one-its the hottest

Q: What did you do last night?
A: Watched Bleach, drew soem stuff

Tag five people after you.
No AHAAHAH I broke the rules. is the meme fairy going to come after me?